Survivor Gabon - Episode 1 and 2 - My Review - Fang Tribe, the Dumbest Tribe Ever?

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We watched the first episode of the latest season of my fave reality show, Survivor : Gabon. The last time I blogged about my excitement about the new season, I was hoping that it'll be more entertaining than the last season. Boy, was I entertained!

I can't think of any other words to describe the Fang tribe. If Eric of Survivor : Macronesia was the dumbest survivor ever, then, Fang tribe is the dumbest group of castaways ever! And I'm not exaggerating.

During the schoolyard pick, they chose the weakest people for their tribe. Lost the first challenge. They're not giving their best at all during the challenges. Then, they lost the immunity challenge again because they're all too lazy and had to rest during the challenge.

Afterwards, they voted out Michelle, the only member of their tribe who was giving her all to win the challenges. Before the voting, they picked on her when she said that people are slacking off even during the challenges. They also complained that no one came forward to be their tribe leader. What the...?! Is that really necessary?! Can't you dumb asses survive without a leader? Sheesh! Damn! And that's not all.


They lost the next reward-immunity challenge again. Dan, one of their tribe members, was sent to Exile Island and couldn't find the hidden immunity idol because he was too dumb to even be there. Sheesh! I was just glad they voted out Gillian, an old blabbermouth who didn't deserve to be there.

Please take note that my comments, reviews and reactions here towards the new season and the castaways are based on how they played the game during the first 2 episodes. So, here are my...

Top 5 Survivor Gabon Castaways:

The list might change in the future as we get to know the castaways better.

Michelle Chase
Too bad, she's the first one out. But she's better off away from Fang tribe. I just wished she was with the Kota tribe. At least with them, she had a chance. Fang tribe was too dumb to realize that she's an asset. Tsk tsk.

Only thing she should've done to stay in the game, though, was to try to be a li'l social with her tribemates. Yes, she was too negative. But I like her spunky attitude. Argh! I really wish she'd stay instead of Gillian! She was the only one really pushing herself for their tribe to win. But, then again, Survivor is also a social game.

I love what she said when everyone was ganging up on her. She was only saying that people are slacking off or not giving their all during the challenge that's why they lost. Her tribemates told her off. I'm watching it again. Here's everything they said:

Jeff: Dan, let me ask you how you guys think you did at the immunity challenge.
Dan: I think we did okay. I think we did better than we expected.
(Susie nodding)
Jeff: You think you did okay?
Dan: I do.
Jeff: (Grinning) So in addition to being a complete disaster, this tribe is in total denial.
Dan: I disagree. I don't think it was a complete and utter disaster. I think we can take those guys and we're looking forward to the next challenge.
(Michelle making a face)
Jeff: 'Kay. (Smirking) Michelle, give me the play-by-play, you were there. What was going on?
Michelle: Well, it took a long time and there were people taking breaks. Ken was taking a break, GC was resting on his back, digging with one hand.
GC: Sorry, I got tired. I mean, I got exhausted. Yah, I took a break. If that's the reason we lost, I'm sorry.
Michelle: It's not the reason we won, coz we're sitting here.
Dan: You can't go a 100% 100% of the time.
Michelle: That's what a challenge is. That's what a race is. YOu don't stop until the job is done.
Susie: Why didn't you step on that hole and get right on it.
Michelle: I didn't stop digging!
Susie: Why didn't you verbalize it and blah blah blah (She was telling Michelle that she should've told everyone else to keep digging. What the hell?!?)
And, they went on and on blaming Michelle. What the fuck!??! Michelle got tired and just agreed with them.
Jeff nods his head in disbelief of what was going on. LOLz!
Michelle: I just thought it's COMMON SENSE that we're in a race, you don't stop until we're done or we win.

Very nice, Michelle. *sigh* They chose you last during the schoolyard pick and we didn't like you the first time we saw you. But because of your performance during the challenges and you were the only sane person in Fang tribe, you're #1 on my list. I just watched her final words video on CBS. Harsh words but I understand her hehehe.

Bob Crowley
He's from Kota tribe, the wayy smarter tribe. He picked the first member of their tribe as he was the oldest, and he chose wisely. I thought he's a weakling but I was wrong.

He's very dependable and strong for a guy his age. Also considering the fact that he's a Physics teacher, he's pretty amazing. Another Yau-man? Let's hope!


Matty Whitmore
Well, they haven't showed too much of him yet but he looks pretty strong. He's a personal trainer. I just liked him because he was the one helping out Gillian and Crystal climb up the mountain during their first challenge.

Will he be the next Ozzy? I don't think so hehehe. He voted for Michelle for being so negative. Errmm. Let's see how you'll do.

Charlie Herschel
He's gay and proud of it. He's a lawyer, like Dan. The only difference is he's not as stupid as Dan.

He's lusting on Marcus and they're close. They started the first alliance this season. I hope they'll be as successful as Parvati's all-girl alliance or Rob and Amber and their dominions. Will he be the next Todd?



Randy Bailey
I had to pick 5 so even though I didn't completely like Randy, I chose him because he's also one of the sane people in Fang tribe.

He's very resourceful, making a fishing hook out of his glasses frame. Well, that's about it.

I was choosing between him and Ken for my 5th fave castaway this season but because of the fishing hook, he got my vote.

Now, this is the first time that I have 5, yes 5, Survivor castaways that I hate this early in the season. Of course, I'm hoping this will change in the future.

Top 5 Survivor Gabon Castaways I Hate

Gillian Larson
I also thought I'm gonna love this old lady. But, I was wrong. I was ready to sympathize with her for being the weakest during their first challenge but I couldn't. She was the most useless castaway and I can't believe they chose to vote out Michelle over her. And her cheery attitude really irritated me. And it's only the 2nd episode! I'm glad she got voted out.



Dan Kay
Lawyer? Oh gosh, after this season, I don't think anyone's going to hire him. Well, at least not me. Damn. For me, he's the dumbest survivor ever. Eric was just dumb when it comes to his strategy in the game. But, Dan is stupid in general in the game.

Sorry if I'm too harsh, but, damn. You can't give 100% 100% of the time? You're in Survivor, not Big Brother, dammit!

When Kota tribe selected him to go to Exile Island, I didn't think much about it. He was all cocky saying that they shouldn't have chosen him because he'll find the immunity idol. You wish! If it was right under your nose, you might not even find it! We were laughing hysterically after he was shown looking for the immunity idol. Here's the clue:

"Across the lake you see well
there lies a sandy crater
the object hidden in its floor
will surely help you later"

You know what he did? He looked IN the lake. First line of the clue said "ACROSS THE LAKE..." Argh!! And he's a lawyer, huh! Then, he returns to his tribe complaining that finding the hidden immunity idol and being in Exile Island was too hard. OMG!


Susie Smith
This self-righteous castaway really irritated me. At first, I thought I'm going to love her, like all the castaway moms in past seasons. But, no.

I can't believe she blamed Michelle when they were at tribal council, saying that Michelle should've encouraged their tribemates to keep digging during the challenge. Is she your cheerleader? Your tribe can't survive without a leader, and now you need a cheerleader? Sheesh!

Crystal Cox
Olympic Gold Medalist. Now that alone should tell you that she'd be a lovable castaway and a big threat. Well, you're wrong. I'm not sure if it's her strategy for being a wimp or she's really one.

She didn't tell anyone that she was an Olympic Gold medalist. That's understood. I won't tell either, if I was her. But, she's not performing at all during the challenges. She doesn't contribue much at camp. If she's going to continue this under-the-radar act, I'll lose all my respect for her.

GC Brown
Designated tribe leader of the Fang tribe then he "resigned". I don't like him but I don't completely hate him because he's been contributing to the tribe. I just can't believe he's one weakling, too. Complaining that he only took a break DURING one challenge because he was tired. Everyone else was tired! Ack!

But I learned something funny from him. He wants to boil water first. Then, he's gonna use that water to cook rice. So, he's gonna boil the water twice. Randy tried to explain to him that he doesn't have to boil the water first since it's gonna boil while cooking rice anyway. And he still continued on with his own stupid ways.

As much as I want to enjoy watching Survivor Gabon, it seems that I'll continue hating these people. I am really hoping they're going to change my mind. I wanna see more of the Kota tribe!

What I like about this season so far? I like the twist of choosing between Comfort or Clue at Exile Island. I'm still interested on who's going to find the immunity idol and how it's going to be played this time.

I love how Yul played it during their season. I also love Rob for showing it off and never being voted out. But I don't think there's going to be something really as interesting as that in this new season. I'm still crossing my fingers, though.

Who's your favorite castaway in Survivor Gabon?