I hate you

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I hate you.* Not forever but at this moment, I hate you.

This is the closest that we can get after I decided to move here permanently to Cebu. You're only a boat away from where I am but you decided that heck, I'm just here... you can pay me attention whenever you feel like it... once you're done with all the fun things on your itinerary.

I hate you for not even realizing that you hurt me so deep that I almost swore not to speak to you again. That's how hurt I am now.

Did you know that I lost some sleep over thinking about what we'll do together when you come to visit us here? That's how excited I was to spend some time with you again after months of being far away from you and Nanay. Even Mai was excited and was planning on where to go, what to eat, blah blah... That doesn't matter anymore. Sheesh!

That's what I hate most about you. I believe you got that from our oh-so-loving father... the my-friends-come-first syndrome... or my-social-life-comes-first.

Did you know that I cried 3 times because of this? I cried as soon as I knew that you can't come here last Saturday. I cried myself to sleep that night because of how I miss you and Nanay. I cried again today before I posted this blog because of that same reason.

Today, you told me that you'll be here tomorrow, Monday, from 2pm. Your flight's at 9pm. And you expect me to see you in between? No, thanks. As much as I miss you, I don't want to ruin your "awesome vacation" with your friends. I'm not on your itinerary so why bother? You didn't want to ruin it so I won't, too.

The real reason is I don't want to just get a glimpse of you. I want to spend at least a whole day with you to catch up on things... for you to see where I'm staying... so I can show you around... to bond with you again even for just a day. And I know I can't do that during your short stay here on Monday so I'd rather not see you than be hurt again... mas mamimiss lang kita pag nakita kita tapos mabibitin lang yung time natin together.

You might say I'm corny, over-dramatic. Call it whatever you want but you'll never understand, you'll never know how hurt I am. I wouldn't wish this on you or even on my worst enemy because it really hurts.

That's why I'm not going to meet with you tomorrow. I guess I'll just see you next year, on your graduation. I wouldn't want to miss that, even after all this.

I hope you'll enjoy your "vacation" with your friends. Just remember that your friends aren't going to be there for you FOREVER. Your family will.

I'll see you when you come here and only got time for ME, your sister.

Enjoy Bohol and Cebu!



* I hate you = I miss you