I Quit... Again

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A few posts ago, I wrote about how I hate myself for smoking again... how I let myself get sucked into this addiction for the second time. Four days after that post, I decided to finally quit. AGAIN. How am I doing?

I'm now on my 16th day of no smoking. Yes, I, again, went cold turkey and didn't go through the gradual quitting. This time around, it was hard. So fricking hard.

The first time I quit smoking, I didn't go through the withdrawal phase at all. I just psyched myself to a point where I hated the stench of smoke around me and it worked. Well, for a year. This time around, I went for a different approach.

 I miss you… goodbye.

And this is why I experienced symptoms of withdrawal from my smoking addiction. On my first week of quitting, my head hurt like hell! There were even nights I'd go out of my room and walk from my room to our gate and back. I had to control myself from grabbing a ciggy from our store and lighting it up. It didn't show and I don't think anyone noticed, but I was going crazyyyy! LOL

I had a few road blocks the past few days, including the following:

• Other smokers teasing or inviting me to smoke with them (yes, I meant you ENZO! *LoL*). How mean, right? O_o
  
  I successfully gotten over this. Okay, not really that successful 'cause my bro saw me staring at them like I was drooling or something. But, still, I was able to not let that craving control me. Plus, my dad still smokes so imagine how harder it is for me.
  
  
• I know that one of the many issues I'd have to deal with during the first phase of quitting is partying or drinking with friends without smoking. It's going to be a real struggle.  Last week though, we had a homecoming party for a cousin and her family. We had a few drinks and I was able to stop myself from thinking about smoking. Woot! But, I can't really promise to completely quit smoking while drinking yet. I'll try my absolute best though.
  
  
• Whenever I see people smoking, I'd move a few steps closer to them just to inhale some nicotine-filled air they're puffing out of their system. I know, that's so crazy, right? After once or twice of doing it, I realize how stupid I look (and it’s quite disgusting actually) and I'll move away. *LOL* I'm laughing now, but it's truly disturbing.

A friend of mine suggested that I buy ecigarettes to help me with this phase. I kind of liked that idea, but for now, I want to program my whole mind, body and soul that I just have to quit smoking... FOR GOOD. I can do this!

Some people say that I should stop counting the days since my last ciggy. Honestly, it works for me. I feel more encouraged to continue when I know how long I've been controlling myself from smoking. And I wish that, very soon, I can completely say I'm smoke-free.

Please help me pray for strength that I may successfully quit this nasty habit. Thank you. :)