Your Cheating Heart

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This post is for all you cheaters and flirts out there.

As soon as I officially changed my relationship status from "in a relationship" for 5 years to "single" back in October 2010, someone on my Facebook friends list sent me a private message. What did he want? He wants to go out with me.

Most people who know the old me (from 5-8 years ago) would think I'd go out with him without thinking twice. But, I believe I'm more mature now. I refused. You might be thinking what the hell I was thinking rejecting him, right?

He is MARRIED. He has a kid with his wife of 2 years. We were in a complicated relationship from way back (he was single, mind you) and it was through Facebook that we found each other again last year. We never exchanged messages, but he only "liked" some of my posts. Okay, he did send me a message just to know how I'm doing, what I'm up to lately, etc. I had to tell him to stop sending me messages 'cause I didn't want it to start some petty fight between me and my partner back then.

Okay, I admit, I did exchange messages with him over the past few months, reminiscing on what we had back then. Yes, I got tempted a couple of times to go out with him, I admit. But, I managed to stop myself from doing something stupid. We had fun back when I was younger and a li'l immature, but I'm a new woman now.

So, what triggered me writing this post? Well, I've been seeing a trend lately. I'm starting to think that I'm attracting the wrong men. And looking back, I think it's been happening my whole life.

Okay, except for my first love. I realized he was my ideal man after my last breakup. We still communicate from time-to-time and reminisce about our past, BUT we're strictly friends. He's with someone for over 5 years now and he's pretty loyal to her. Not that I attempted to do anything, okay? Argh. See? He's really my ideal man!

Alright, no regrets here. And I'm going off-topic.

That trend I was referring to a paragraph and a fourth back, I feel like I attract the wrong men because 50% of them who want to go out with me NOW are all fricking committed. No, 'di po ako nagmamaganda. Kung nagmamaganda ako, I'd be bragging about SINGLE men wanting to date me. Being pursued by committed men is starting to really piss me off. Thus, this post.

A few days ago, I posted this on my Facebook wall:

A lot of people reacted, all of them, as expected, were in agreement. Most of them even had violent reactions, with all the censored cursing. :D

I actually posted it after a conversation with a friend who just went out with a committed guy. He (yes, he’s gay) felt lonelier afterwards. At the end of my wall post, that was my message for him and for me.

By the way, after I posted that on my wall, those committed guys stopped communicating with me. I think they already got my message.

I'm no angel. I've been in all sides of the cheating game. I've been the cheater, the other woman AND the clueless girlfriend. So, I speak from experience.

I vow to stop hurting people with lies even if that means I have to tell the truth. I vow to stop exchanging messages with anyone that go beyond platonic/friendly conversations.

I feel like I have this big sign on my forehead saying I'll date just about every guy I see. I may be a li’l more liberated than most women. That doesn’t mean I don’t want my own man and be with someone for the rest of my life. And I’ve been in love. I know what makes my heart beat. I’ve loved, been loved and hurt… truly, madly and deeply. I’m not completely heartless when it comes to relationships.

Here are the facts: I've been single for 6 months now. I started dating last February when I finally felt that I was ready to do the whole dating thing all over again. I've dated a couple of guys the past few months, weeks. Though I'm not in a relationship with anyone yet, I'm okay.

I'm not going to settle for leftover love, time and attention from someone who's committed. I've got a ton of self-respect now to let myself go through that again.

Oh, and yeah, KARMA’S A BITCH!

My final messages...

If you’re committed (married, boyfriend-girlfriend, in a relationship basically), why don’t you just use all your effort, money and attention on your partner? Sila na lang ang landiin nyo so you can spark that flame of desire and love between the two of you again! Trust me, kahit matagal na kayong magkakilala, there are still a few things you don't know about each other and that you haven't tried yet. Be adventurous. Masaya yun! *wink wink*

If you’re the other woman/man or you’re still planning on being one, have some self-respect. You deserve to be with someone you can call YOUR OWN. Not with someone who you share with someone else. Not with someone who can only give you leftover time and attention.

You deserve better. Be patient. He/she will come. In God’s time. :)