Before I Fall Asleep…

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It’s another typical day. I’m still awake at 6am working on projects (blog and design) and my mind seem to not tire one bit even with all these writing and conceptualizing I’m doing right now. I’d probably sleep at around 8 to 9am again. Pfftt.

I admit, I have insomnia. I’ve been dealing with this since high school. I’ll usually stay awake until around 3am even on a school day. What do I do? We didn’t have a computer yet back then so all I had was loud music coming out of my headphones while I read or write my own fictional stories or entries in my journal. I end up sleeping on my way to school aboard our service van. But, my insomnia, thankfully, has not affected my performance in school and even when I started working.

It was inevitable that right after college, I wanted to work in call centers. Aside from the tempting compensation packages they offer, the schedule was so right for my body clock. I sleep around noon and wake up at 5 to 6pm (sometimes even later depending on my schedule) to prepare for work.

Though for sure, this is a case of insomnia, most people I know who suffer from this chronic sleeplessness either are not full of energy and can’t function well. In my case, like what I mentioned earlier, it never affected my efficiency. Yes, I may have a couple of instances when I’d stare at someone or on the computer screen because my mind just went blank, but I still ALWAYS performed at my best. :D

I guess this is why I never really did anything to fix this. I know, most people would argue that it’s all about self-discipline. I tried to adjust my sleeping schedule, but I ended up tired and restless because I forced myself to sleep. My mind won’t stop thinking, even with a white noise machine (an ex-boyfriend gave me one), I can’t sleep when my mind knows it’s still dark outside.

If you’ve seen photos of my room in my past posts, you’d probably have noticed that my glass windows are all covered with red cartolina. It’s my way of helping my body think it’s still dark when I sleep. I know, I just contradicted my case of insomnia. But, it’s one of the weird things about me. *LOL*

I’ve done a couple of tricks to force myself to sleep like drinking alcohol (NOT recommended!), and even counting sheep. *LOL* The only thing that worked was doing a bunch of really tiring stuff on my computer. My mind and body will just give up and fade into sleep mode.

I now have fairly huge and dark eyebags that I try to cover with concealer everytime I go out. Here’s a photo I took a couple of days ago, a few minutes before I put on makeup.

I only had about 3 hours of sleep when I took this photo. Seeing this makes me more determined now to try ways to lessen the darkness of my eyebags.

I promise to work on my sleeplessness by next year. I know this isn’t healthy, but I’ve just got too many things to do these days that I end up lying in bed, thinking of a thousand things in my head which then makes me want to stay awake more to complete at least 2 tasks before I finally settle in. *sigh*

Alright, this is my last post for today. Will watch a couple of episodes of The Walking Dead (like this will make me sleepy, eh?) before I take a long nap. That’s what I call my sleeping now. @_@

Image credit: Sleepless