Musings about The Mistress : Not a Review

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I just finished watching The Mistress, a Filipino / Tagalog movie starring John Lloyd Cruz and Bea Alonzo. The story revolved around mistresses, secret affairs and other typical scenarios you'd see in a Filipino movie - rich boy falls for poor girl, they can't be together. Since I basically almost summed up what the story is about in this first paragraph, needless to say, this ain't a review.

In case you haven't watched the movie yet, (SPOILER ALERT!!!) John Lloyd plays the role of Eric / JD Torres. He's an architect and the son of wealthy businessman Rico (Ronaldo Valdez) and Regina Torres (Hilda Koronel). Bea is Sari Alfonso who is a seamstress who came from a poor, big family led by her mother Carmi Martin. Eventually, you'll know that Sari is Rico's mistress, and JD / Eric later finds out about this, but still pursues Sari.

You might be wondering now why I'm writing this blog post about the movie with no intention of reviewing it. I guess there were lines and scenes from the movie that hit me. Sure, I've been the other woman and on the cheating end, so you'd really expect that The Mistress has affected me in a way.

Yes, I admit, it did, especially the part where JD said Sari deserved someone who is completely hers, who she didn't have to share with anyone else - in short, she deserves more than leftover love. I realized this a long, long time ago and I'll never put myself in that situation again 'cause I know now how it feels to be the cheater, the other woman and the clueless girlfriend, and how good it is to be with someone who’s got eyes for only you. Whenever I deal with boys (for me, real men are monogamous) who act and talk like they're God's gifts to women, I keep telling myself I deserve better.

And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is why I'm still single.

 

The Blame Game

Aside from the obvious effect on me of this movie, what surprised me was how mature Bea's character was. Her mother (Carmi) was a mistress too. After everything with JD and Rico got all messed up, her mother was apologizing for what Sari is going through 'cause she felt like it was her fault - she wasn't a good example.

After years of watching select Filipino / Tagalog movies, I didn't expect Sari to say that it was not her mother's fault, that no one else is to blame but herself. This scene made me stop and start writing this post.

I didn't grow up in an ideal environment – by ideal, I mean loving parents, happy childhood, financially stable. If you see me talking about my nanay most of the time, there's a big reason for that - I have an absent father (I blogged about this a couple of times here I believe) who was jobless, and mentally and physically abused me when I was a kid. My nanay struggled to make ends meet and to send us to decent schools. It was her priority - to make sure we get a good education. Yes, people, all these happen in real life, not just in Filipino movies.

Whenever I see or hear people blaming others, especially their parents, for who they turned out to be, I can't help but be irritated. There are many people who were raised in the worst situations, but they managed to come out of it alive and kicking. And, I’m proud to say, I’m one of them. However, I can’t deny the fact that having a mother who loved me unconditionally and was ready to sacrifice everything for us helped in a major way.

What I’m saying is if you don't stop the blame game and if you start taking responsibility or ownership for whatever you've accomplished or how far you've gone in your life, you will not move forward. All your decisions were your own. All the paths you took were because you led yourself down that road. Unless someone forcibly dragged you there or made you do something that will ruin your life, YOU are YOUR OWN responsibility once you reach adulthood.

 

Be Better

In the same way, stop saying you're stuck in whatever situation you're in because of your past. You have all the chances in the world to change your situation. The question is, are you ready to take action?

Sure, it’s easier said than done. That’s the point. It has to be done. You can start with small steps and figure out your way from there.

Let go.

Move forward.

Be happy.

Make yourself happy.

And don't cheat or be the other woman/man.

Love.

Love deeply.

 

By the way, that love-making scene between Bea and John Lloyd was HOT! Finally, no more cheesy love scenes. :))

Also, am I the only one who's been expecting Ronaldo Valdez to have a heart attack from the first time I saw him in the movie? LOL I think they should stop giving him characters with heart problems.