I'm a Cheater

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Yes, as much as I hate to admit it, I am a cheater. I tried for years to rid me of this flaw and when I was already in the verge of complete success, I became weak and gave in to my addiction all over again.

I'm talking about smoking. I know, I've already said I've quit smoking. I did. I managed to go for months without a smoke. But, I guess my lame excuse to only smoke when I'm drinking was what caused me to go back to this nasty habit.

Last month was when my addiction to smoking officially returned to ruin my months of successful smoke-free days. No, I'm no longer a chain smoker like before. I started smoking a stick a day 3 weeks ago. I was telling myself it's okay since I'm only limiting myself to one stick. But, I know it's wrong. I'm cheating.

Last week, when I went in for a checkup with a heart doctor, I told him about my quitting and I still have a stick or two "occasionally". He immediately said my quitting months ago MEAN NOTHING now, that I ruined all my hard work when I finally quit because of that "occasional" smoking. It was like a smack on the head, I tell yah!

Also last week, I bought a half pack of cigarettes that I haven't opened yet. Okay, wait. That's a lie. I already smoked like half of it - that's 5 sticks. I've officially quit again 2 days ago. And I'm really crossing my fingers that I won't be smoking another stick of ciggy even "occasionally". Even when I'm surrounded by friends who smoke.

This reminds me of a friend of mine who's also starting to quit. He told me his uncle used to buy perdomo cigars online and other cigars. He took one and smoked it. After the high he got from the tobacco on that cigar and being sick for a week, he swore and decided to stop smoking altogether. Now, he's a month clean. I wish him luck. I wish myself luck, too, and a great deal of determination. I've done it before so I know it won't be that hard the second time around. ^_^