Addicted

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Last Tuesday, as I was browsing through my Facebook newsfeed, a video shared by a fellow blogger caught my eye. It's the My 600-lb Life of Melissa Morris. I watched it and from the first 20 minutes of the video, it became slightly painful to watch because of the memories it brought back.

Here is the full episode. You can wait for it to finish loading while you continue reading my story and why I can relate.

 

Enabling the Addiction

I have never weighed over 180 lbs my entire life. Though I didn't really watch what I eat back then, I guess my used to be "active" lifestyle somehow kept my weight at 140-160 lbs. I'm 5'4" in height and I think I looked better when I was at that weight, so I didn't bother losing more.

In 2010, I weighed over 230 lbs. I was at my heaviest. And this is actually the first time I am revealing my weight to the world because I've been ashamed of it for the longest time. Every time I look at myself in the mirror during those times, I felt shame and pity, but I shrug it off and carry on with the next fatty meal.

As much as I don't want to put any blame on anyone, after watching the video of Melissa and how her loved ones (husband and parents) treat her as she struggled with her enormous weight gain over a span of 6 years, I realized that they are to blame too. They have allowed themselves to be enablers of Melissa's addiction to food, especially her husband Chris. In a way, they made her feel it's okay to continue with her eating because she is loved.

I have experienced this in my last serious relationship that lasted for 5 years. And I gained over 60 lbs throughout those years and I might have gained more if it continued. I don't completely blame my ex for my massive weight gain, but for sure, my ex was an enabler.

In the video, you'll see how Melissa confronted her husband Chris about him liking the fact that she was fat and she needed him - something I can completely relate to. It was a painful realization. I say if you are with someone who is that insecure that they're holding you down and letting you waste your life just so they can keep you, you have to realize you deserve better. And I am more than thankful that I had that realization almost 2 years ago before it was way too late.

Being overweight, I understand that people who tell me I must lose weight, I'm gaining weight or getting fatter mostly just care about me or they feel like I will be much better if I lose all the excess fats. I have an issue with saying those comments out loud (or publicly, like in a Facebook comment), but doing it in an intimate conversation shows you respect and care for someone, which a few have done for me.

 

Food is Addictive Too

The problem with addiction to eating is people tend to treat you like just someone who LOVES food. We all have to realize that addiction may come in many forms. We can be addicted to, not just smoking, alcohol or drugs, but to habits or anything that gives us pleasure. And we all know how satisfying food can be, especially when it's all sweet, greasy and/or meaty.

Smoking or being addicted to alcohol and drugs may be real nasty and serious, but being extremely fat IS a health issue as well.

 

 

Dealing with Addiction

One must understand that when dealing with addicts, giving advice is not enough. An addict needs more than just words of encouragement. An addict needs a push, and sometimes, I mean it literally. An addict needs a very valid reason to stop his or her addiction. But, all this should be done while you're still there, supporting them as they go through the withdrawal period.

Most times, addicts need a wakeup call to turn their life around. For me though, I didn't want to wait for something really bad to happen before I realize my lifestyle needed changing.

I was a chain smoker. I was addicted to the effects of nicotine to my whole body. It helped me clear my head when I'm stressed from work or if anything is bothering me. I can smoke more than a pack a day, especially when I'm at a party or get-together with my friends. Just this year, I decided to stop my addiction - cold turkey, for the second time - because I realized my health is at risk. I learned this after a checkup with my doctor. No, I'm not sick or anything. But, the result was enough to wake me up towards addressing my addiction.

Most addicts like I was back then are not so lucky. I was able to do it all by myself. I have plans for my future that I'm not ready to give up on yet. And it's a sad fact that some addicts are in denial and don't see anything life-changing that can happen in their future as a result of their quitting on their addiction, so they continuously spend their days sticking to their routine or habits.

This is where loved ones come in. In the case of Melissa, her husband adapted too well to the fact that he needs to take care of her all their lives. He knows he was an enabler, but he needed to do more than that to help her. Sure, he might have said or done something to encourage her to lose weight, but the thing is, most overweight or overly obese people think that when you tell them to lose weight, you're insulting how they look. Based on my experience, you just have to make them understand that it's all about their HEALTH and their FUTURE.

"I always say they did the surgery on my stomach, but they really should've done it on my brain because it goes that deep."

"The roots of my problem goes to my childhood. Every single pound in my body is an emotion of something that happened in my life." ~ Melissa

 

I lost 26 pounds since that relationship ended. I am still not at my goal weight and I gained a few pounds because of my love for food. The difference now is whenever I look in the mirror, I tell myself, "Argh, ang taba ko pa! Konting tyaga pa!" (I'm still fat! Need to push more). Just like what Melissa said, you have to stop looking for easy gratifications. It will take time and we have to be patient.

This month, I have decided to seriously take control of my life and my weight. I don't want to end this journey abruptly or at a young age. I believe I have a bright future ahead of me, and I can't wait to see it unfold. :)

I am so happy to see that Melissa is getting the life she deserves. :) If you are having weight issues, the video might help encourage you too. No, not to go through gastric bypass, but to realize how much life would be better if we take our addiction, whatever it may be, in check. :)